The week of epic failures does not escape me here either!
Car blipper decideth it does not want to play ball and stopped working, even after throwing it on the ground, swearing at it and pleading with the inanimate object, still nothing, nada, bugger all! Finally diagnosed as “needed a new battery” scenario!
Kitchen fluorescent tube light decides to give up on life, so cooking by torchlight was an experience. The following day i brought and changed (hey go me!) a new tube!
Mobile provider decides to text me that ive gone over on my data this month, im never anywhere near the damn limit, so ive spent hours checking settings on my phone for anything random i may have done! Gave up, provider gave me a safety buffer but still charged me for the extra data! Not that it matters to them that i never normally use anywhere near my limit anyway! Grrrr
Then car windscreen wiper decides to join in, waiting til it was suitably hammering it down and i mean absolutely torrential rain too, it managed to unclip from its holding (where its been sat and quite happy for a considerable time might i add) and throw itself around the windscreen clipping somehow onto the other wiper, making a delightful screaming sound as they swished to and fro, until my brain remembered where the lever was to stop them and this terrifying noise, how it didnt go flying off the car i shall never know! Visions of having to play frogger on the dual carriageway in the rain were flashing before my eyes! Forced with a decision of trying to pull over with no visability or following tail lights and the sat nav i went with the latter, until i was off the main road, believe me i didnt need any laxatives that day!
So im sat here now watching out of the window, the weather, completely the opposite to yesterdays glorious sunshine, its now rain, rain and more rain…. and am wondering what fate has decided to hit me with this week!
As for now im off to watch “the apprentice” and “youre fired” as typically i dropped off through both of these in the week!
The last seven days have been particularly vexing!
Lovely sunny day, lunch break: I know let’s get puppy used to my two seater car and use new seatbelt strap. Put puppy in car, blanket under him, treat ready. Driving up the road to the fine of whining and being scratched as puppy wanted to sit across his seat and the gear lever. On arrival at Pets at home car park puppy shits in my car. Over the blanket, seatbelt lead, car mat and itself. Joyous times,not! All items except the perpetrator thrown in car park bin, dog baby wiped within an inch of its life during my bouts of torrets. £12 trip to car wash for valet imminent.
Puppy training on the lay down,paw and high five is a roaring success. New owner alert: dog looks hungry = increase food for dog resulting in my new life in dog shit city. Answer: No treats today for him and one less meal. Oh and copious mopping on the agenda today.
My hard fought for work lap top is as fragile as eggs. I dropped it in it’s case onto the floor from a height of around 2 feet and the screen is irrevocably shattered. Such is my lack of faith in IT and red tape of the civil service that I’m not putting it in for repair until I get clear and written info telling me when I get it back. The lap top itself still works so I’m hoping bits of it don’t start falling off.
As an additional PITA – pain in the arse I managed to leave lap top at a training course this week and had to ask the trainer to return it to me. Doofus award.
My car windscreen has a crack horizontally across the windscreen wiper thanks to a stone flipped up by the lorry in front’s tyres. Lovely £75 excess. Whoop. I will be mostly drinking wine this weekend… N
Meanwhile in darkest Kettering ..
Feeling just a little bit smitten today. Got to see and then meet Adam Hills (The Last Leg, Ch4, 10pm Fridays before i hear you muttering Who?) last night …. Very quick witted and he could’ve rambled on for hours, I was quite happy to listen too, some amazing stories! One of my favourite celebrity meets so far!
However coming home, the motorway was full of cones and diversions, waiting until the very last minute before my turn off to actually let me take it, caused me no end of panic attacks on the 50 minute journey!
The meanwhile stories began way back in the 80,s with two disturbed teenagers nicknamed Norbert and Cuthbert So we will write this blog together so that at least some will be biographical. Depending on our level of consciousness at the time of writing!
We revisit these times for our attempt to remember and for your amusement.
These are a collection of random happenings.
We have no idea where most of our ideas and events sprang from. Which is probably lucky as we would both be in asylums otherwise.
What else would we be doing? Weekend arrived and it was perfectly normal for us to be in an abandoned car park in Hastings rounding up shopping trolleys and shoving each other down the ramps. A group of local boys joined us and the race track was formed. The ridiculous thing was that there was never an actual winner. There wasn’t an official start or end and we all just zoomed about for no particular reason. Trolleys were scattered in all directions when we left.
Of all the places we could be we seemed to favour the top floor of the piss fragrant car park. I share this with you to illustrate the depths of our teenage idiocity. Later on we additionally developed a craze for marker pens and graffiti tags which we added to on the sticky stairwells. We were experts at wasting time.